Sometimes somethin` beautiful happens
In this world
You don`t know how to express yourself
So you just gotta sing

I just had sex and it felt so good
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
I just had sex and I`ll never go back
(Never go back)
To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great
It felt so good when I did it with my penis
A girl let me do it, it literally just happened
Havin` sex can make a nice man out the meanest

Never guess where I just came from, I had sex
If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best
When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great
And I called my parents right after I was done

Oh, hey, didn`t see you there, guess what I just did?
Had sex undressed, saw her boobies and the rest
Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing
Nice of any girl ever, now sing

I just had sex and it felt so good
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
I want to tell the world

To be honest, I`m surprised she even wanted me to do it
Doesn`t even really make sense, but, man, screw it
I ain`t one to argue with a good thing, she could be my wife
That good? The best thirty seconds of my life

I`m so humbled by a girl`s ability to let me do her
`Cause honestly, I`d have sex with a pile of manure
With that in mind, a soft, nice-smellin` girl`s better
Plus, she let me wear my chain and my turtle-neck sweater

So this one`s dedicated to them girls
That let us flop around on top of them
If you`re near or far, whether short or tall
We want to thank you all for letting us f**k you

She kept lookin` at her watch
(Doesn`t matter, had sex)
But I cried the whole time
(Doesn`t matter, had sex)
I think she might`ve been a racist
(Doesn`t matter, had sex)
She put a bag on my head
(Still counts)

I just had sex and my dreams came true
(Dreams came true)
So if you had sex in the last thirty minutes
Then you`re qualified to sing with me

I just had sex
(Everybody sing)
And it felt so good
(We all had sex)
(Felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside of her
(I want to tell the world)
I just had sex and I`ll never go back
(No, no, no)
To the not-having-sex ways of the past